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Something has changed in my Georgia

By Masha Grishina
Georgia Online, 11 October '12

Something has changed in my Georgia. It is not about the change of ministers, the new management of National Bank or new Prosecutor General. Something has changed in the atmosphere of the country, or rather the way I feel the atmosphere in Georgia.

I guess my fears will not let me enjoy every day spent in Tbilisi, as it used to be. In reality, I hate changes, I知 afraid of changes (I have been using the same Eau de toilette for the last ten years).

They say, by admitting your fears you make the first step on the way to overcoming them.

So I admit.

1. I知 worried that Georgia will be less secure, than it was

I guess this is the most real fear. Because the easygoing life I learnt in Georgia was beyond reasonable.

You know, objectively, today I would be a perfect victim for criminals in many countries. Once in two days I forget to lock the entrance door (and I live alone), my red purse always stick out from my bag, because there is everything in my bag except the space, I often leave my mobiles in the shops or park benches, (I知 very dispersed person) and I very much like to be in harmony with myself walking in the night streets of Tbilisi (I知 not ready to give up this part for anything).

I will never forget the first few months spent in Georgia, when coming back home late at night and hearing footsteps behind my back, my heart would start beating fast, I started to feel cold sweat on my back and I started to walk faster with my trembling legs. I got this habit after spending years in another country, I overcame that fear after six month of peaceful life in Georgia, and you have no idea, how that feels to be free of fear.

In short, it will be funny and unexpected, if right now somebody will hit me in the dark street of Tbilisi.

2. I知 worried that Georgians will become angry and unsociable.

The new government made too sweat and too many promises before the elections and, you know, I have heard this somewhere before. Ukrainian promises have become classic and they only cause a sad and ironic smile of hopelessness. I don稚 know a single Ukrainian who would be happy with the current government that made so many pre-elections promises. Trust me, this makes huge influence on the atmosphere of the country.

I understand that this is my experience only; I understand that Georgia may have other future. But when I see Georgians who honestly believe that the gas and electricity will be very cheap, and water will be free and interest rate for bank credits will go close to zero and fuel will have the same price, as in Azerbaijan I feel scared. Of course, I couldn稚 find declaration of these promises in any official document by the new government.

But still the half of country痴 population is trying to prove with all their might that all this will happen!

I know too well the atmosphere of disappointment in the country

3. I知 afraid that many people may leave Georgia

After traveling to many countries, I can assure you that Georgia is the friendliest country for travelers. You know why people stay here? Because it is easy to start business here, it is easy to get visa and residence permit (it is sad, but formally, Ukraine is less friendly towards Georgians than Georgia towards Ukrainians), because it is safe here and it is comfortable, because the nature is beautiful here and there are amazing travel possibilities (oh, this will not change for sure).

4. I知 afraid that Georgia won稚 be unique country on the post soviet territory

Yes, this is selfish, but I like to live in the country, which is different from other republics of the former USSR. To live in the country that chose different path of development and moves forward breaking all stereotypes and refuting the impossible. I知 very proud of all achievement of Georgia. I can see all the shortcomings too.

But all these rapid changes, ups and downs are very familiar for me, I feel good here. I知 afraid that Georgia may have a predictably hopeless future of Ukraine, Russia and Belarus.. that Georgia will stop rapid development in favor of slow old ways of other countries. I知 afraid that not only Georgia will move back to the past, but it will stop development and will become as everyone else.

5. I知 worried that I知 thinking about life without Georgia

I start exploring additional options for retreat. For the first time for the last two years I知 thinking about whether it is possible to leave Georgia for some other place?! This is not a fear anymore, this is panic

Yes, this is subjective, yes these are fears out of my own experience, they may not seem logical, but they interfere with my life.

It is not that it is easier or I feel happier now, but I hope after admitting my fears I chose the right path Are you not scared at all?

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